half birthday

'here's my heart Lord
take and seal it'

OK OK OK

WHY

AREN'T

WE

MORE

FEARLESS

( " i wish to live a life that causes my soul to dance inside my body " )

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WE'LL DREAM ABOUT IT

events are happening a lot like they did last year.
but better.

there is an undercurrent of...
something.
something hard to ignore.
something full of chaos.

but there's another that is full of dreams and hopes and
the chance to breathe again.

because i am breathing right now.
deeply.

because we want to explore the world,
we want to take in all of God's grand creation.

but why not start here
now.

we say we want to explore and adventure. we want to go.
but to other people in other towns in other places,
this is where they would choose to go.

and i am here.
and this is now.
and i am not getting any younger.
and my hometown is just as beautiful as your city.

i wish to explore it all.
not just other places.

(here's to setting hopes high
but appreciating your own backyard)

how beautiful / how fragile/ and what a gift
this being alive

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I'M NOT JUST SAYING

the other night i rode my bike uptown like we did last june.

past the closed library and through the empty main street

bike tires crunching on old asphalt / gliding over the yellow lines of empty parking spaces.

the air is thick and warm

and the feelings and smells of wheat harvest drift around. 

i didn't turn down that street 

like we used to.

( i didn't pull up on the driveway

and sit on the back patio with the dogs.

i didn't slip in the back door 

into the little air conditioned house.

i didn't grab a lemon oreo from the jar

or a swig of raspberry lemonade from a red cup. )

that little house holds someone else now. 

( this town never held any of us for long )

but last june and july

i remember thinking

i could get used to this.

and i think i did.

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